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By Norma Jeanne Laurette  IntroductionIf you’re bringing a new puppy or dog into a home with young children or you’ve already got both running around your house, congratulations! It may be an exciting time but let’s face it, it can be quite chaotic. You’re essentially raising two very different little energetic beings at the same time, each with their own developmental needs, bursts of energy and learning curves. The good news is that with carefully planned strategies, patience and a positive attitude, you can help them grow into best friends while keeping everyone safe and sane. When things get crazy, neither the dog or child is ‘being bad’, as rowdy behaviours are completely normal for a puppies and children. For both, impulse control is limited until they begin learning and maturing. Toddlers yell, squeal, run and are unpredictable, which can easily over-stimulate a dog. This can result in the dog jumping up, mouthing, nipping or biting if it becomes too excited or overwhelmed. The solution is management both behavioural and environmental, teaching both the dog and children self control and to be gentle. As they mature, they will learn how to trust and respect one another. Dogs & Storks – Dogs & Toddlers(R45) (R12) (R15) A great place to start is with Family Paws – Dogs & Toddlers ™ online class taught by founder Jennifer Shryock (R15). Dogs & Toddlers™ is the perfect program for families with dogs and babies who are about to start crawling or walking. While the first few months often go smoothly, many families are surprised when their dog begins to show signs of discomfort as their baby becomes more mobile. This program provides practical insights and proactive strategies to help families navigate the common challenges that arise as dogs adjust to a growing, active baby. Bonuses include the Dogs & Toddlers™ webinar, handouts, guidance on the 5 Types of Supervision to prevent accidents and promote safety, an online community for parents and other resources. By addressing common questions and offering insight into dog behavior, this course helps prevent conflicts and supports a smoother and lasting transition. Developmental StagesPuppies and toddlers have a lot in common developmentally, in that they’re both exploring the world for the first time with high energy, short attention spans and big emotions that they don’t yet understand or know how to handle. For puppies, the early months are all about learning and playing. Because teething occurs from approximately 3 to 7 months of age, mouthing and chewing objects, furniture, clothing and people is quite normal as they relieve their discomfort and test boundaries. Their critical socialization period ends at approximately 14 weeks of age, during which time pleasant and unpleasant experiences shape their personalities and how they view the world, including children, for the rest of their lives. When a puppy experiences too much excitement at once it becomes over-stimulated. Signs of overstimulation include zoomies, excessive panting even when it’s not hot, pacing or restlessness, constant jumping, high-pitched barking or whining, dilated pupils, mouthing harder than usual and even a tucked tail with frantic energy. Overstimulation is caused by chaotic movements, loud noises and prolonged high-arousal activities, which is normal behaviour for a running and squealing toddler (R1) (R2). Also keep in mind that dogs that don’t receive enough attention, exercise and mental stimulation are much more likely to become overstimulated. Toddlers are hard wired for curiosity and big emotions but they have very little control over their impulses. It would be normal for a young child to grab a dog’s tail or ears because they’re fascinating, grab and hug the dog out of affection or chase it because it’s fun, without realizing these behaviours are threatening to the pup. Young children will miss a dog’s subtle stress signals, including yawning, lip licking, freezing, turning away or whale eye, as it tries to communicate that its overwhelmed and needs space. These children aren’t intentionally misbehaving, they’re just little humans who have yet to learn empathy and boundaries. Understanding that both the puppy and children are going through normal stages of development helps you respond by teaching instead of punishing and leading with calm guidance instead of reacting through frustration (R3). SchedulesThe secret to success is planning ahead and maintaining consistent routines, including schedules for both the puppy and children. Although every puppy is different, some young puppies need 18 to 20 hours of sleep daily. They also need attention, meals, outside elimination breaks, walks, play, chew time and mental stimulation. Likewise, a toddler needs consistency with healthy snacks and meals, naps, quiet time to play by themselves and time with friends, siblings and parents. When two responsible adults are available, chaos can be reduced when one parent guides the children while the other guides the puppy, then switch (R4). Environmental ManagementSet your puppy up for success with environmental management by puppy proofing your home the way you would for a toddler. This means closing doors and putting cables, trash, toxic plants, choking hazards and other potentially dangerous objects out of reach. Give your puppy a safe space of its own such as an exercise pen or blocked off area with a comfortable bed, toys and chews, where it can relax, entertain itself and sleep undisturbed. Baby gates or tall pet gates can be helpful to separate the dog and child during peak energy times. You can prevent your puppy and children from getting their heads stuck between the bars by making sure the space between them is too narrow. When your children need to run to release energy, let them burn it off on one side of the barrier while the dog chills on the other side with a long-lasting chew, stuffed Kong or other enrichment option. This prevents the excitement loop where the children over stimulate the puppy causing it to jump or nip. It also teaches the puppy to entertain itself in its own space, and teaches independence to help prevent separation anxiety (R5). Never leave a dog and young children unsupervised together, not even for quick bathroom breaks. Young children can accidentally hurt a dog by stepping or falling on it, or by pulling its tail or ears. Not only can this force a dog to defend itself, it can also jump on, nip and knock over tiny humans. Secured barriers give you control and peace of mind without the need for constant supervision. Establish house rules from the beginning including never bothering the puppy while it’s eating, sleeping or chewing, and teach the children that the dog’s space is off-limits unless invited in by a parent. Consistency from all adults is important for the rules to be respected and to keep everyone safe (R6). Train The DogPositive training is always the best approach because punishment can inhibit a dog’s ability to think, learn, remember, problem-solve and make choices, which is counter-productive to the learning process. Reprimands can cause stress, anxiety and fear, which dogs can begin to associate not only with the adult correcting them but also with any children who are present at the time. This is a problem not only because living in fear is an unpleasant existence but also because almost all dog aggression is self-defence caused by fear. Your focus should be on managing the environment and reinforcing the behaviours you want. Reward correct choices with treats, praise, play, affection or anything the dog values. When good behaviour consistently leads to positive outcomes, dogs learn quickly and are far more likely to repeat those behaviours. Basic cues such as sit, down, stay, come, leave it, drop it, go to your bed and settle – provide the structure required to set the dog up for success. Practising these skills in the morning, before the dog interacts with the children can help release excess energy, which improves focus, self-control, resilience and tolerance for excitement. Consistency from all family members is essential to ensure that the dog receives predictable and easy to understand guidance. Daily physical exercise and mental stimulation through canine enrichment are non-negotiable. Walks, fetch, tug, puzzles, scent games and training help burn both physical and emotional energy, while reducing the likelihood of boredom, frustration or overstimulation. Safe and healthy chews are also indispensable to keep puppies occupied, for energy release and to redirect teething behaviours toward suitable targets and away from people (R7). For more information about enrichment options see my article Canine Enrichment For Dogs. Create a safe space where your dog can enjoy alone time. Using this area for breaks ensures safety, encourages independence, helps prevent separation anxiety and shows the dog that being alone can actually be enjoyable. You can also teach your dog to settle by rewarding calm behavior on a mat or dog bed placed near, but not inside the children’s plays area. Over time, your dog will start to trust your children and associate them with positive experiences, rather than being hurt, scared or overwhelmed (R8). Never underestimate the importance of proactive supervision. Dogs and young children should never be left alone together even if the dog is well trained. Adults should always be watching for early signs of stress indicating that the dog needs space, and step in before the situation escalates. Giving the dog a safe place to retreat to where children are not allowed to follow helps the dog feel safe and secure and prevents conflict. Socialize the dog and children together with short, positive interactions and reward both for calm behavior. This includes the dog not jumping on or mouthing the children and the children following your instructions. Combining positive training, environmental management, proper exercise and mental stimulation with careful supervision helps families build safe, respectful relationships between dogs and children. It also supports everyone’s emotional wellbeing and lays the groundwork for long-term, reliable behaviour. For more information about positive training see my article entitled Positive Dog Training – Science | Ethics | Results. Signs Of Stress In Dogs(R47)
Signs Of Fear In Dogs(R47)
Train The ChildrenIt’s important to involve young children in age-appropriate activities to help build responsibility, empathy and pride in caring for their dog. Start teaching gentle touch by showing the children how to use one finger or an open palm to softly stroke the dog’s back, sides or under the chin – never the face, paws, tail or ears. Teach children to avoid hugging or squeezing and teach young children not to pick up or carry the dog because toddlers lack the motor control required to do so safely. Chasing, teasing and poking must also be prevented and children should never disturb a puppy while it’s eating, sleeping, resting or chewing, as these are common situations where bites occur (R3). It’s very important to teach children the basics of canine communication and body language, so they can understand when a dog wants to be left alone. A loose body, open mouth and wagging tail usually indicate a relaxed and happy dog, while a stiff body, closed mouth or fast, high wag can signal rising arousal or tension. Other cues such as yawning, turning away, lip licking or freezing will tell them the dog needs space. Always praise the children when they notice and respect these signals (R9). Demonstrate appropriate behaviour for the children by moving slowly, speaking softly and reading the dog’s body language before touching it. Also discuss and demonstrate not approaching the dog but instead, waiting for the dog to approach you. This allows the dog autonomy in that it can choose whether or not it wants attention at that time. Keep early interactions very short, only a few seconds to a couple minutes at a time to prevent over-stimulating both the children and the dog. Calm and successful interactions are much more important than longer ones and always end on a success and positive note. For more information about autonomy, see my article Autonomy & A Well Behaved Dog. Include The Children In Dog Training ClassesRegister for puppy classes run by an educated, qualified and experienced, 100% positive dog trainer who welcomes children and encourages the entire family to work as a team. Not only does this increase consistency, it also teaches the children how to properly train and handle a dog. This is when they learn to respect animals and develop skills that will shape how they handle dogs for the rest of their lives, so make it count. This is also a good time to teach them to never approach dogs they don’t know and never without their parent’s permission. Including children in dog training is crucial, as it helps nurture a trusting, respectful relationship between them and the dog. It also teaches valuable life skills such as responsibility, empathy and compassion through hands-on involvement, while reducing the risk of accidents by showing the children how to interact safely and play appropriately (R18). This participation can boost their confidence and self-esteem as they see the dog respond positively to their guidance, and it helps ensure consistency in the household for a well-adjusted and happy dog (R19). The best way to teach responsibility is to start with supervised, age-appropriate tasks such as helping with feeding, grooming, walking or basic training. From there, you can move onto fun activities like hand-feeding meals, playing games such as fetch or hide-and-seek and practicing easy cues such as “sit” or “down” using positive training methods and rewards (R20). As they get the hang of it, teach them to watch the dog’s body language for any signs of stress caused by training. When they identify these communications, they can ask for a simple cue such as “sit” and reward the puppy, followed by a break to allow it to relax and clear its mind (R21). This way, the children learn to be aware and compassionate, while always ending with a success. Manage OverstimulationA child’s excitement is the number-one trigger for a dog becoming over-stimulated. When children start running and squealing, a puppy will match the energy with jumping, barking, mouthing and hyperactivity. For situations such as these your best solution is prevention and re-direction not reaction. When a child’s energy spikes and it’s necessary to separate them, be proactive by giving the puppy something else to do behind a barrier. You can then let the child burn off steam while the puppy safely enjoys a chew, game or toy. The same goes for when the puppy’s energy spikes. Watch for early signs such as pacing, heavy panting or frantic play and intervene with separation or redirection before it escalates. This breaks the energy cycle and allows both time to control themselves and decompress. (R1) (R2). Be A TreeThe Doggone Safe bite prevention program created by Joan Orr and Teresa Lewin is a game-changer. Their Be A Tree technique for responding to jumping up or mouthing teaches the following. If the dog jumps or mouths, BE A TREE: stop moving, fold your branches (arms at your sides or crossed low in front of you), be very quiet, avoid eye contact and slowly and quietly turn away from the dog. It’s important to not touch or push the dog, make any noise, walk or run because that increases the puppy’s excitement. Be quiet, still and slowly turn away. This removes the fun for the pup and with repetition it learns that jumping and biting doesn’t work to get attention. If the dog continues to jump or mouth, calmly and quietly move the dog behind the barrier. When it’s calm and quiet it can come out again. Parents should demonstrate and practice being a tree with the children and praise them for doing it correctly. This empowers the children, reduces fear and has been proven effective as a bite prevention tool (R11) (R12). Rules For Games(R46) Games such as chasing, rough housing, tug-o-war and retrieval can be used to teach a dog self control and to a void putting it’s mouth on people, as long as the games are played with rules. Games with rules teaches the dog self control and to make correct choices in order to keep playing. Rule # One Use only one cue to start the game, such as ‘let’s play’ and one to end it, such as ‘finished.’ It doesn’t matter which words you use as long as they are used consistently and always means the same thing. You should always be in control by deciding when the game starts and ends with no exceptions, and the game must always end the moment you say so. If the dog doesn’t stop playing on cue simply leave the room and close the door. Resource control is the foundation of our training. Rule number one of resource control is to ignore demands, so it’s important to never begin the game when the dog demands it. For more information about resource control see our article entitled Dominance – The Dirty Word Of Dog Training. Rule # Two Keep your games short to avoid over-stimulating the dog. The longer you play, the higher the dog’s energy rises making it more difficult to control. Thirty seconds at a time is plenty to start, followed by a ‘settle down’ or self-control training exercise. When the dog is calm, the game can resume. As the dog learns to control itself while playing, you can gradually increase the length of your play sessions. Rule # Three When playing tug-o-war, use one toy only so the dog does not attempt to play tug at inappropriate times or with inappropriate objects. Keep your tug toy out of reach until you bring it out and invite the dog to play. When the game is finished, put the toy away. Rule # Four This is the most important rule and must be followed consistently. If so much as one tooth touches you or your child’s skin or clothing, whether it’s gentle or hard, accidental or on purpose, give your cue to end the game and it must end immediately. When the dog is biting clothing, you can’t tell how hard it’s biting and if it accidentally grabs skin as well, it can hurt. Begin by playing outside a bedroom or bathroom door or inside your pup’s safe area. Sit on the floor and give your ‘let’s play’ cue to entice the dog to start playing. The second you feel a tooth, the dog touches clothing with its mouth or ignores a cue, quietly stand up, slip through the door and close it behind you or leave the pup’s safe area. When the dog is calm and quiet, resume playing. This rule will teach the dog to avoid using its teeth to keep you playing the game and a dog that’s proactively avoiding human contact with its mouth is a lot less likely to ever bite someone. Teaching a ‘leave it’ cue is also valuable for the dog to learn bite inhibition and self control. Reward System For ChildrenYoung children need motivation as much as dogs do and they love visuals and rewards. To encourage them to proactively participate in doing what’s in the dog’s best interest you can create a fun reward system just for them. Set up a chart on the fridge, maybe a dog-themed piece of paper that you will adorn with stickers or checkmarks. Every time the child does something helpful, such as gentle petting, giving space when the puppy asks for it, identifying a communication or assisting with training – go to the chart together, add a check mark or sticker and explain exactly why. ‘You gave the puppy space when he was chewing, that was great!’. After a predetermined number of check marks or stickers, the child earns a small reward such as extra play or story time, a favourite snack, a new colouring book and crayons, a trip to the park or something else they value. This focus on positive behaviour builds confidence and associates correct choices with pleasant outcomes. It strengthens the bond between the child and dog and instead of perceiving it as a chore, the child views helping as a fun and rewarding game. Reward systems make compassion and good behaviour motivating for little ones, while promoting learning and a thoughtful and respectful child (R10). Any time you’re unsure about how to handle an issue with the dog or between the dog and children, reach out to an educated, qualified and positive dog training and behavior expert for guidance, as punishing the child or dog will do more harm than good and does not teach either of them what you want them to do. It can also be helpful to keep a training journal to track your progress with both the children and dog (R13). SummaryYou’re training both a young child and a dog at the same time. With the understanding that unwanted behaviours are normal for both, by planning ahead you can prevent conflicts and make the learning process fun for everyone involved. Patience and consistency are the keys to success and with repetition, you can create good habits for both the children and dog. You’ll watch your children grow into empathetic, compassionate, confident and responsible little people and your dog grow into a calm, resilient and affectionate companion, developing a lifelong bond built on mutual trust and respect. Always remember to be kind to yourself as well because some days will be more challenging than others. Never hesitate to give the dog something to do on one side of the secured barrier with the children on the other in order to take breaks when you need them, and never be afraid to ask for help. Raising and training dogs and children together can be fun and rewarding and by planning ahead, you can fully embrace the journey. ResourcesDogs & Storks® Online Class (Family Paws Parent Education): A 1.5-hour self-paced course. https://www.familypaws.com/courses/dogs-storks Dogs & Toddlers Online Class (Family Paws): A shorter follow-up course for families with crawling babies/toddlers, focusing on ongoing safety and interactions. https://www.familypaws.com/available-courses Doggone Crazy Board Game, Video, Flash Cards & EBooks For Kids By Joan Orr & Teresa Bessette Lewin: The original dog body language disseminators. The Doggone Crazy Board Game is an interactive educational game for kids and families to learn about dog body language, recognizing safe and unsafe situations and practicing decision-making. https://doggonecrazy.ca/ Puppy Says Let’s Be Friends A Children’s Book By Margaret Ann Frank, Greg Ceci & Norma Jeanne Laurette A heartwarming tale that teaches children the magic of kindness, Patience and the joy of building a lifelong friendship with their new puppy. Take Me To The Book References(R1) Honest Paws – Overstimulated Dogs: Signs, Causes and Supportive Strategies (R2) Woodgreen Pets Charity / Various expert sources on dog overstimulation signs (R3) Oh My Dog Blog – Dogs and Toddlers: A realistic guide (R4) Animal Humane Society – Expert advice on raising young kids with canines (R5) Animal Humane Society / Augusta Dog Training – Environmental management tips (R6) ASPCA / Humane Society resources on supervision (R7) The Spruce Pets / NASC – Positive reinforcement training for puppies around kids (R8) Beyond the Dog / Various positive trainers on socialization (R9) Animal Humane Society – Dog body language basics (R10) Pooch Parenting – Reward Chart for Good Behavior – Kids and Dogs (R11) Doggone Safe / Family Paws – BE A TREE! Don’t FLEE! (R12) Humane Broward / Pet Professional Guild – Be a Tree program details (R13) IAABC Journal / Various expert sources on common challenges and professional help (R12) Family Paws Parent Education. (n.d.). Dogs & Storks Online Class. https://www.familypaws.com/courses/dogs-storks/ (R13) Nemours KidsHealth. (n.d.). Preventing Dog Bites. https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/dog-bites.html (R14) Best Friends Animal Society. (n.d.). Prevent a Dog From Biting Children. https://bestfriends.org/pet-care-resources/how-prevent-dog-biting-children (R15) Family Paws Parent Education. (n.d.). How We Support Families. https://www.familypaws.com/how-we-support-families (R16) Preventive Vet. (2024). Prevent Dog Bites: Dog and Child Safety Tips. https://www.preventivevet.com/dogs/prevent-dog-bites-with-children (R17) Purina. (2025). Introducing Puppies and Children: The Essential Guide. https://www.purina.co.uk/articles/dogs/dog/behaviour/introducing-puppies-and-children (R18) Animal Humane Society. ‘Expert advice on raising young kids with canines.’ https://www.animalhumanesociety.org/resource/expert-advice-raising-young-kids-canines (R19) Facebook. ‘Including kids in dog training for a closer bond.’ https://www.facebook.com/groups/CampbellK9University/posts/3011858312372551 (R20) River Landings Animal Clinic. ‘4 Ways to Involve Kids in Dog Training.’ http://www.riverlandingsanimalclinic.com/news/2021/1/19/4-ways-to-involve-kids-in-dog-training (R21) Beyond the Dog Training. ‘How to include children in raising a dog.’ https://beyondthedogtraining.com/dog-training/how-to-include-children-in-raising-a-dog (R22) Babylist. ‘What to Know About Preparing Your Dog for Baby.’ https://www.babylist.com/hello-baby/how-to-prepare-dog-for-baby (R23) Hilton Butler. ‘How to Prepare Your Dog for a New Baby.’ https://www.hiltonbutler.com/blog/prepare-dog-for-new-baby (R24) Dog Meets Baby. ‘How To Prepare Your Dog For Baby Coming Home.’ https://www.dogmeetsbaby.expert/post/how-to-prepare-your-dog-for-baby-coming-home-2 (R25) Facebook. ‘Preparing Your Dog for a New Baby with 7 Essential Steps.’ https://www.facebook.com/groups/thelibary/posts/8557966134234989 (R26) ASPCA. ‘Dogs and Babies.’ https://www.aspca.org/pet-care/dog-care/dogs-and-babies R27 Animal Humane Society. ‘Preparing your pet for a new baby.’ https://www.animalhumanesociety.org/resource/preparing-your-pet-new-baby (R28) Oregon Humane Society. ‘Preparing Your Pet for Baby’s Arrival.’ https://www.oregonhumane.org/portland-training/preparing-your-pet-for-babys-arrival (R29) Toronto Humane Society. ‘Preparing Your Dog for a New Baby.’ https://www.torontohumanesociety.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/Dog-and-Baby-Prep-Info-Sheet.pdf (R30) Dog Gone Problems. ‘Free Tips for Newborns and Dogs: Preparing Dogs for a New Baby.’ https://www.doggoneproblems.com/jerry-morty-prep-for-new-baby (R31) Twin Cities Birth Center. ‘Preparing Your Pooch for Baby’s Arrival.’ https://www.twincitiesbc.com/blog/preparing-your-pooch-for-babys-arrival (R32) Whole Dog Journal. ‘Puppies and Kids: How to Set Up for Success.’ https://www.whole-dog-journal.com/puppies/puppies-kids-how-to-set-up-for-success (R33) The Dog Academy. ‘Doghood Made Easy for New Owners: The Dos and Don’ts of Puppies & Kids!’ https://www.thedogacademy.com/blog/2021/7/12/doghood-made-easy-for-new-owners-the-dos-and-donts-of-puppies-amp-kids (R34) Lupa K9. ‘How to Prepare Kids for a New Dog.’ (adapted from similar sources; cross-referenced with Humane Society guidelines) (R35) Humane Society of Sonoma County. ‘Preparing Kids for a New Dog.’ https://humanesocietysoco.org/dog-training/preparing-kids-for-a-new-dog (R36) The Everymom. ‘How to Prep Your Family for a Dog.’ https://theeverymom.com/how-to-prep-your-family-for-a-dog (R37) Eastern Sierra Dog Rescue. ‘How to prepare children to welcome a new pet.’ https://www.easternsierradogrescue.com/blog/how-to-prepare-children-to-welcome-new-pet (R38) Purina UK. ‘Easy Guide to Introducing Puppies and Children.’ https://www.purina.co.uk/articles/dogs/dog/behaviour/introducing-puppies-and-children (R39) RSPCA Knowledgebase. ‘How do I introduce a new dog or dog to children?’ https://kb.rspca.org.au/knowledge-base/how-do-i-introduce-a-new-dog-or-dog-to-children (R40) Preventive Vet. ‘How to Introduce a Dog or Adult Dog to Your Children.’ https://www.preventivevet.com/dogs/how-to-introduce-a-dog-or-adult-dog-to-your-children R41) Jinx. ‘How to Introduce a New Dog to Children.’ https://www.thinkjinx.com/blogs/news/how-to-introduce-a-new-dog-to-children (R41) Dog Power Basic Training Manual. Available at: https://www.scribd.com/document/809687110/dog-power-basic-training-manual (This document contains near-verbatim sections on game rules, including the four rules described, structured play for self-control, and the tooth-contact shutdown for teaching bite inhibition and respect for human flesh.) (R42) Ibid. (Direct quote: ‘Games without rules increase your dog’s control over you.’) (R43) Canine Correspondence Studies with Norma Jeanne, ‘Dominance – The Dirty Word of Dog Training.’ Available at: https://dogtrainingcareers.com/dominance-the-dirty-word-of-dog-training (Explains benevolent leadership Rule #1 as ‘Ignore all Demands,’ with cross-references to controlling play initiation.) (R44) Ibid., Dog Power Basic Training Manual (Emphasizes this as the ‘MOST IMPORTANT RULE’ with the exact phrasing about one tooth touching clothing or flesh ending the game immediately.) (R45) https://www.familypaws.com/courses/dog-toddlers/ (R46) https://www.dogstardaily.com/blog/4-rules-for-games-with-your-dog/ (R47) American Veterinary Society of Animal Behavior (AVSAB). (n.d.). Puppy Socialization Position Statement. AVSAB. (Emphasizes recognizing and preventing fear through proper socialization; notes risks of overwhelming puppies leading to fear responses.) Photo By Freepi
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